“For better or for worse”, these are the words I found myself mulling over as I took my shower the other evening. I had been busy taking care of some household tasks and the baby all day and was so grateful that my husband was watching the baby while I took my little break. I felt so tired and so drained.
In the midst of dirty diapers, spit up, cold lunches, unfinished much needed coffee and temper tantrums it is easy for me to begin questioning if I was meant for more. A rough week for the munchkin meant a rough week for my husband and I and the beautiful pictures my friends were posting on Facebook of their amazing adventures were not helping (an unintended outcome on their part). It was not that I was questioning my marriage… my husband is my rock and better half no matter how much we sinfully bicker when the days are tough… no, I was thinking how much we had seen “worse” in the last year or so. We had endured a miscarriage, several moves, a death in the family, financial struggles, several jobs, health issues, and we are now living with family all in the name of following God’s calling in our lives. Some days I really want to throw in the towel or begin a new career and forget that God told us to move to West Virginia to serve Him. It is tough to face the “worse” in life.
Mulling over this thought also reminded me of the “better” my husband and I had faced together. We had grown closer during the worst times. We had mourned and worshiped God at the hospital when we lost our first child and also as we traveled to the funeral of my husband’s loved one. We were blessed in many ways. Financially, we were often blessed by surprise gifts from family and friends when it was most needed. Some of our family graciously opened their home to us when we felt the call to move to a new state, and much more suddenly then anticipated. They helped us as my husband struggled to find jobs that would work with the PT ministry job he was called to and I worked through a huge life change during my second pregnancy. Even the exhausted and endless days and nights with our little one were a blessing because we got to hold and love our baby this time.
“For better or for worse”, life gives us a bit of both. We have the choice whether or not we are going to remain faithful through it all to the God who called us to Himself. Yes, it has been difficult to remain faithful sometimes but I would not trade it for anything!! I often have doubtful thoughts when things get really hard. I often wonder if I am doing the right thing, or if I am cut out for this task. I hope through this blog I can encourage others as well as myself to remain strong and faithful as a ministry minded mama; for better or for worse.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4 ESV